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Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack

Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack | The Onion - America's Finest News Source ZPI researchers noted that tens of thousands of Pittsburgh citizens live in close proximity to a cemetery. This fact, coupled with abnormally high space-radiation levels in eastern Pennsylvania and ongoing traffic issues in the East Hills and Larimer areas, led Cornelius to declare the likelihood of a successful evacuation as "slight to impossible."